Published In Reductress 1/9/15
Recently lost weight? You’ve probably heard a fair share of “Good for you!” and “Awesome!” from supportive friends and family. But if you don’t think quick, those voices might lift you to a place of self-acceptance. Uh-oh! Follow the steps below to prevent your weight-loss success from diminishing your sense of yourself as a garbage person fraud who’s forever undeserving of love.
Set realistic, specific goals for hating yourself.
Self-loathing comes in all shapes and sizes, so you have to decide what works for you now at your new shape. Rather than generally say, “I hate myself,” focus on your specific worst qualities (personality, brain, etc.) that your weight loss won’t cover up. Really blow out your sense of inadequacy to keep that feeling strong at your smaller size.
Make a contract with your disgusting self.
“I commit to focusing on my non-surface-level flaws.” Print this out in large type and post it somewhere public (for example your cubicle, next to those small bags of almonds) to add a shaming element. Instantly, the stakes are upped.
Treat hating yourself as a lifestyle.
Rather than binge on a huge self-hating session, opt for more frequent, smaller self-effacing moments throughout the day that will keep your self-criticism engine constantly running. For example, slowly ruin a friendship or your confidence in your work by saying something rude or regrettable every day when you wake up, before you go to sleep, and before you hit the gym.
Check in with an enemy to keep you on track.
Friends are great, but supporters can sabotage even the best-laid, self-hate plan. Pick a partner from your past who reminds you of previous interpersonal failings and can help keep you on the negative track. If you can’t find an enemy in person, you can buddy up on the Internet as well. Identify someone you’re jealous of, and check out their Instagram and compare your successes to theirs. Your weight loss success will start to look like chubby nonsense in no time.
Failure to plan is planning to fail, they say (Just one more reason to hate yourself – you didn’t plan). But mess-ups are bound to happen. Going to a family function can put your self-hating routines in jeopardy, especially when you’re around a group of people prone to compliment your new physique. It’s important to be armed with a compliment denial. A simple, “Yes, I did lose weight. But I don’t deserve to be happy” will keep supporters at bay.
Decide which sacrifices you need to make.
Even if you have time to go to the gym and maintain all your activities, give up at least two hobbies. Being busy and having a lot going on can be detrimental to your sense of self non-worth.
Most importantly, don’t enjoy the journey.
Try as we might to find a quick fix, there are no shortcuts. Like most things worth having in life, results come with consistency, hard work, and a clear focus on how terrible a person you are and always have been.
So no matter what your size, don’t forget: It’s what’s lacking inside that counts.