I’m Done Feeling Jealous Of Women With Nicer Butts To Poop Out Of

I’m Done Feeling Jealous Of Women With Nicer Butts To Poop Out Of

Originally published in Reductress 10/16/18

Like most women, I’ve always struggled with body insecurities. Ever since I can remember, I’ve judged parts of myself and believed they weren’t “good enough.” But recently, I decided enough is enough. I’m done buying into the oppressive standards of beauty created by the patriarchy to keep women from feeling like they deserve good things. As of today, I am officially done feeling jealous of women with nicer butts to poop out of…

Read More

How To Embrace Your Unique Beauty After Realizing Your Guy Exclusively Dates Women Who Look Like You

 How To Embrace Your Unique Beauty After Realizing Your Guy Exclusively Dates Women Who Look Like You

Originally published in Reductress 7/11/17

Given society’s unattainable beauty standards, there’s nothing more empowering than embracing what makes you…you! That is, until you look up all of your guy’s former flames on social media and realize the traits that makes you you also completely resembles them. When you discover you’re a man’s freakishly specific type, you may question your individuality. But here’s how to embrace your unique beauty, even though you just realized that your guy exclusively dates women who look exactly like you

Read More

How To Be A Supportive Friend While Still Derailing Her Diet

How To Be A Supportive Friend While Still Derailing Her Diet

Originally published in Reductress 11/2/16
 

Which characteristics make a great friend? Loyalty, reliability, empathy and, supportiveness in times of need. So when your girlfriend is in trouble, it’s important to be there by her side while also completely sabotaging her diet. Here’s how to show your friend you totally have her while simultaneously sending her diet off the rails with a bag of doughnuts.

Read More

Choices Every Woman Needs To Make On Her Own Time Right Now

Choices Every Woman Needs To Make On Her Own Time Right Now

Originally published in Reductress 8/12/16

Life as a modern woman is fraught with the perils of decision-making. From love to career, religion to politics, every aspect of our lives feels weighed down by big decisions. And while you should take all the time you need to make life’s biggest decisions, you really need to make them right fucking now.

Read More

Fun Girls’ Night Ideas Because He Blew You Off

Fun Girls’ Night Ideas Because He Blew You Off

Originally published in Reductress 8/9/16

Men may come and go, but your girlfriends are forever. So next time you’ve scheduled your entire day around a date and already taken an hour to get ready before he suddenly blows you off, use this opportunity to frantically text all your friends, see who can meet up, and make it a girls’ night that you won’t forget!

Read More

Romantic Date Ideas For Your Friends In Healthy Relationships

Romantic Date Ideas For Your Friends In Healthy Relationships

Originally published in Reductress 8/3/16

Trapped in the same old date night routine? Maybe that’s because you’re in an unhealthy relationship pattern, and this is just one of many signals that you two either need to reflect or simply call things off. No romantic dates for you! But, for your friends in healthy relationships, we’ve got a few fantastic date night ideas, so pass these along!

Read More

Five Clever Catcall Responses Because That’s Our Job Too Now, Apparently

Five Clever Catcall Responses Because That’s Our Job Too Now, Apparently

Originally published in Reductress 8/2/16

Catcalling: you might find it scary, saddening or just plain annoying, but it’s a universally frustrating experience for all women. So what’s the solution? No one knows and men don’t seem to care. So here are five clever catcall responses that will make you ask, “Is this my job?” and the answer is yes, apparently so?

Read More

How to Escape the Friend Zone and Achieve Cult Icon Status

How to Escape the Friend Zone and Achieve Cult Icon Status

Originally published in Reductress 2/29/16

We’ve all been there: You’ve finally mustered up the courage to ask your crush on a date, only to be met with that heartbreaking response: “Let’s just be friends.” So what do you do now? Get depressed? Try to win him over? No and no. It’s time to springboard this minor setback into achieving your dreams of becoming the cult icon you always knew you could be. His loss is your aggressive fan base’s gain. Here’s how to spin his romantic rejection into rabid, underground obsession.

Read More

How to Become So Great A Leader That Men Almost Respect You

How to Become So Great A Leader That Men Almost Respect You

Originally published in Reductress 1/20/16

Sure, you graduated top of your class, you’ve been working tirelessly for over a decade, and you’ve proven to your superiors that you’re the most reliable employee in the company. That’s all great, but none of it will earn a man’s respect. Here are a few tips on how to get pretty close to the respect you’d warrant if you were a man by becoming a historically excellent leader.

Read More

6 Actors Who Would Watch Your Laptop For You And 1 Who Can Go To Hell

6 Actors Who Would Watch Your Laptop For You And 1 Who Can Go To Hell

Originally published in StarWipe 10/31/15

Next time you’re plugging away on your laptop in public and you need to step away from your computer for a moment, don’t panic. Simply see if you can spot one of these six trustworthy celebrities in the vicinity, as any of them would totally keep an eye on it for you—unlike one celebrity we might name.

Read More

Op-Ed: Grace Jones’ Autobiography Was My Idea

Op-Ed: Grace Jones’ Autobiography Was My Idea

Originally published in StarWipe 10/22/15

Grace Jones is receiving heat for punches she throws in her new autobiography, Ill Never Write My Memoirs, but the controversy goes much deeper than that. The book was my idea. Believe it or not, I’m the one who originally thought of a book about the life of Grace Jones written in first person. Me, StarWipecontributor Janie Stolar. Now, I’m speaking out.

Read More

Last Night’s Look: Love It Or Revert To Puritan Law And Shun The Garment-Wearer From Society?

Last Night’s Look: Love It Or Revert To Puritan Law And Shun The Garment-Wearer From Society?

Originally published in StarWipe 10/20/15

Puritan law may have fallen out of fashion by the early 1700s, but the fundamental rules of style are eternal. So when celebs leave the house looking anything less than stellar, it’s time to revert back to the draconian laws of 17th-century New England to punish them properly!

Take a look at these recent fashion choices and decide: Are you absolutely obsessed, or should we revert to Puritan law and shun the garment-wearer from society? You be the theocratic judge!

Read More